I'm on a divorce roll at the moment but don't worry I'll change the subject soon! I got a private message the other day with a question from a friend who said they follow these blogs with interest as they feel they don't really know much about the subject. So I thought I'd answer their question and use the answer as a blog too in case it's useful to anyone more widely. Here goes.
This is not being too nosey at all, I'm happy to answer! There are a few distinct people and their actions which I found really helpful at the time, and they have stuck in my memory as being beautiful people.
The common point in these are people being present without forcing conversations about raw topics. The friends were not actively engaging in the event itself, they weren't giving opinions, trying to fix things or influence the shape or the speed of events. Someone going through a separation is processing their own complex feelings and deciding things with immense consequences on their future - that is more than enough to overwhelm. No-one except the couple concerned knows the whole story, so let your friend go at their own pace and in complete ownership of the situation and any talking, but make yourself visible and fully present while they do so. Don't wait for the invitation -- muscle your way in with the hot meal. And maybe a bottle of gin.
Anyone else got any thoughts and tips?